written in december of 2008
i felt you before i saw you. i saw through the haze my town of birth had hastily set. you hate when i wept. i felt the lament, it was my heart, not my head. this was the first time i left it. you can understand how it wasn't easy. you always said you did, because i'd always wonder and ask. i swear each insecurity i held so secure inside my flask. a mental den/unfiltered men. i learned what to expect and what not to expect, and more importantly: what was fair to expect. still, i live in expectancies that haven't made the full blown leap to entitlement.
to learn is to live. we lived together. we learned to live together. well, we were meant to live together, and learning things was a treat. i used to like to treat you like the goblin princess, so fierce and fare. you pierced my soul, my heart, my mind, and left me senseless and unaware of the fact: you are the face i might not stand to see, if not standing there right next to me. now, with blinders off, i can't stand to see you as anything but reluctancy. it's this reluctant sea of honestness that cost us this. i promised/wished to pleiades, "free us, ..please." the seven sisters feed on both our thoughts. well, we knew the cost was eternal life. we knew that, right? renewed in life. we should have never lived in our old lives. they cursed us both. the lack of changing writhes and contorts it's now forlorn shell, to sort out hell (which, once, was called our wishing well).